The Story Behind Ribeiro Behind Bars

By Dennis Kane

Ex-Hab and now Dallas Star Mike Ribeiro was arrested, along with three others including his wife, Tammy Williams, for public intoxication at a Dallas restaurant. He spent the night in the slammer.

By now, we've all heard the story, but no one really knows what happened.

I wonder what he did.

Did he grope the waitress, or throw a glass at a mirror?

Was he overheard saying that Lee Harvey Oswald was misunderstood, or the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders are a bunch of sluts?

Did he puke all over the lady in the next booth whose husband owns oil wells? Did he yell out, “George Bush is a maggot!"? Or tell everyone in the place that country music sucks?

Did he spend the night in jail because he dined and dashed, or started a mashed potato fight, or called everybody rednecks? Did he brag that hockey is better than high school football and baseball? (Which of course wouldn’t go over well in the Lone Star State?)

Was he caught cheating in a poker game and chairs started flying?

Did Marshall Dillon show up, put Ribeiro behind bars to sober up, and then dash over to Miss Kitty’s for a quickie?

Hockey players get drunk in bars and restaurants often. But they don’t usually get thrown in jail.

Maybe it was all a big mistake. Maybe he was protecting the honour of the lovely and feathered saloon dancer from a boorish and smelly cowboy who had just rode in from the range, and the hockey player and the cowboy ended up on the street in a gunslinging duel.

Or did he say “puck” a bunch of times in a loud and annoying voice and the owner thought he was saying f**k?”